John Houser
You know that drawing where there's a hand drawing another hand that is drawing that initial hand?  John Houser drew the hand that drew the hands that draw the other hand.  You know that artwork of the stairs that just keep going up, but then keep coming back to the same place?  John Houser ran up those stairs to the top and then directed everyone in the right direction so they'd stop walking around in circles over and over again.  How about the one of the waterfall that turns the waterwheel that directs the water back to the top of the waterfall?  John Houser bought that waterfall dirt cheap and now owns a power plant there that grosses billions of dollars annually.  "How does he do it?" you ask.  John Houser claims it's living by four simple rules.  
Yes, that's right.  All John Houser does is maximize the factors of equality, socialization, contemplation and hibernation in his life.  John Houser claims he was inspired to this E.S.C.H. plan by a phantom apparition who showed him how to live this lifestyle.  Since he learned through following this non-existant image, many people refuse to give John Houser credit for being the originator of the E.S.C.H. plan.  Instead of being known as the founder of Eschism, these people merely refer to John Houser as the next Escher.  Bastards!

Back